If you can’t be with the one you love,

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love the one your with.

If I was told to take a pop quiz in Buddhism right now, I would fail.  My ability to live in the present, to appreciate what is right in front of me, is limited at best. For the last week or so I’ve been eying this house in Hadley and been trying to think of every financial scheme possible to get myself in it. And the house, it’s not that great – but it’s good.  It’s in the town I want to live, it’s sixty years newer than the house we’re in now, and it has more than a postage stamp in terms of land. The house has a goodly amount of potential. Of course then  there is  whole process, the financing, the credit reports, and the showing of the old house, the cleaning up, the packing.  And I was totally ignoring those daunting pieces, because this property kept haunting me – I would let it go, and there would be an open house, I would forget about it, and they would drop the price 40k.  Today it showed up  in the paper in the foreclosure column, and I wasn’t sure if it was another sign, or a warning.

Around about twilight, I was sitting in the side yard, watching Keegan grab a handful of the new garden dirt in his fist, while his daddy put the rest of the tomatoes in. Kai was kicking his soccer ball up the newly mowed law towards his reconstructed, perfect for him swing set.  I took the whole scene in, the dusk, and the babies, the new garden, and the feeling of summer setting in. I watched my husband brush the dirt off his hands onto his shorts, looking super satisfied at the well placed stepping-stones in our new veggie patch. This old house we’re in now, it’s not perfect, but it’s got a goodly amount of potential.

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One response »

  1. Oh, but I know the feeling too well… pining for a certain house. We can only dream because we still have our apartment in the Bronx waiting to sell–so many missed opportunities, I can’t even look at the real estate listings anymore!

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