My floors creek as I pace them. Especially with the additional weight of Keegan as we sway and turn.  There is nothing I can do tonight to keep him asleep, the whole house is on edge, and I look out the windows, wondering how deep this well of capability really is. Some ass pulls his truck into the bar across the street, showing off his hemi or some other nonsense, as his tires yearn to grip the sand. Keegan cries again at this new sound, and I curse this corner again for the millionth time since we moved here.

Kai is grinding his teeth and I can hear the click from three rooms away.  I pass by the growing to-do list for the birthday party that I’ve tacked to the wall, and I think of calling everyone and cancelling –

These nights are so rare now, this newborn vulnerability such a fleeting trait, making itself known again nearly 12 months later.  These kind of nights will become rarer and rarer – soon I might forget what the middle of night looks like – though for now, I am well acquainted with the moonlight.


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