Sometimes

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Sometimes I have to remind myself of things I do, and why I do them.  I do a lot. More than I should. I teach six classes, manage ten independent study students, advise four extra curricular activities, and chair the English department. I am raising two boys the best that I can, and co-managing a household with my co-navigator. I make play dates and mama dates, and sometimes I sit in front of the tv, and sometimes I write. Sometimes I host parties, and sometimes I think of a project too big to manage. And sometimes, well, not sometimes, actually, more like currently, I sit on the Board of Directors for MotherWoman.  I don’t really have that kind of space in my life. The kind of space I should devote to such an organization.  And sometimes I think I should probably cut something out – make more room- and it should probably be that.

But sometimes, I remember that MotherWoman saved my life. I remember that sitting in circle with women, once a week saved my life, and sometimes, I allow myself to remember, it saved my children’s lives as well.

And there are women, countless women in this valley, who might feel the same way, or might get to feel the same way sometime soon.  And because I remember that, Sometimes I remember I can’t give up this work, this love, this fight.

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One response »

  1. Tara, I am so grateful to you for putting your feelings and thoughts into words. They resonate so deeply with me. The feeling of overwhelm that we all have as we parent, we do our jobs with love and passion and commitment and then what do we have left over at the end of the day? How can we take on one more thing? Every time I hear another mother say “MotherWoman saved my life” I am moved to tears and I know why I work so hard every day to change the landscape and ensure that all mothers have the support that you and I both needed so desperately in those days after our babies were born.

    I know the juggling of it all is too much so much of the time. The dedication, devotion, time and commitment you have given to MotherWoman these last couple of years has been immeasurable. Remove all guilt, all shoulds, any disappointments and know that you ARE MotherWoman and everything you do to support this work is part of why the next mother can say, “MotherWoman saved my life.”

    Endless appreciation of you,
    and great love,
    Liz

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