When your cooking mojo returns –
when it returns it will be sometime near midnight,
on a Thursday,
there will be vegetables that were picked by someone you know,
just a few days earlier.
They are leftover from a dinner, where you were reminded that you feed people.
And at nearly midnight, on the day before Friday, you will have to make ratatouille.
Because it’s been six months that you’ve let other people feed you,
and it’s time that you start getting acquainted with your kitchen.
Remind yourself, how well you can move in this space,
how you yield utensils and knives
with grace some people reserve for dancing.
When you sit down to eat, you will not
be the kind of full of you were hoping for.
But, you won’t be nearly as hungry.
For my boys, I sing,
our Kitchen, my only stage.
Refrains bring us sleep.
The greatest kindergarten teacher in the world – no really, I’m not being hyperbolic – she is lovely. She gave me a high five the first day of school, she hugged me after Kai’s first 504 meeting. Read the rest of this entry
Two boys. Crazy, and wild, and over the top- side-way smiles – knock knock jokes – fiends for stickers and Nano bugs and Legos and screen-time – lovers of snacks, sneakers of chocolate, delivers of hugs and snuggles- one with dimples- one who likes to run- sensitive and smart – story tellers- eyebrow raisers- comedians at five and three- believers in magic and wonder. Two boys.
A day-care provider for five years, who tended them, loved them, taught them their letters and colors, fed them, did not ban them from her day care when they bit other children, did not have a heart attack when they insisted on climbing higher, who tended me- didn’t give me a thing to worry about, because I knew my children, my babies, my infants were safe and loved.
A preschool teacher who has had both my sons now- who helped one to stop hitting his classmates, who is helping one to appreciate the potty – a teacher who has structure and love, and a play loft – she who created a preschool for Hadley, who is just about to retire, who has been the teacher to even my senior students who are about to graduate – she who has taught my sons songs, and numbers, and to to cut paper, and write their names, she who transcribes stories and helps them to share.
Since 2009 I have given three eulogies. Some people will never have to give one – and me, I’ve stood up three times in the last two and a half years to deliver words of longing and grief. It is a task that I have, unfortunately, nearly gotten used to.
So it was with great honor and with feeling like things might be changing – that I gladly accepted the Pro-Merito’s invitation to speak at their induction last week.
It is so much more fun to be able to stand up and say words of encouragement, as opposed to telling stories that make people cry. Read the rest of this entry
I’ve been working on these lists with my classes for the last two days. I shared some of my old gratitude lists, and have asked them to work on their own. As they write, I try to add to my lists. I’ve been thinking a smidgen though, about how to extend the process of all this gratitude. It is nice enough to make lists, but perhaps there is more to be done with the lists. Perhaps, instead of lists sitting out in the interwebs I should be more grateful on the spot – let people, and places, and retailers know how much they are appreciated. I try – try- to be a gracious consumer, and a kind coworker, saving most of my attitude for inside of my house. And maybe that’s it, maybe – just maybe for the next five days, (and beyond, but you know, baby steps), I can check that attitude at my own door, and be appreciative of the blessings that abound in the confines of my home. Read the rest of this entry
91. Esselon Cafe – ooh breakfast burritos
92. enterprise Farm, winter food shed, citrus in December is key
93. Local Burger – salt and vinegar fries
94. that Russ is cool with my last minute sub-in Europe chaperoning
95. snow days, because teachers love them just as much, if not more
96. Ray Allen, sixteen years of love can’t be wrong.
97. A whole classroom of students writing
Picking up this list up from earlier this year – you know, because it’s almost Thanksgiving
84. Big Black Boots
85. new friends, at some point you imagine, you’ll grow old enough to not get new friends, but then there they are, and you’re forging new relationships
86. Sierra Grill – the restaurant that is always always good.
87. Alumni who come back and offer to babysit
88. foggy mornings
89. still getting nervous when applying to something
90. crossing things off my to do list
of the first Birthday variety.
Beau and Katie, thank you for saying yes to being godparents. Thank you for always coming to whatever shindig I invite you to. Thank you for being enthusiastic when I cook for you, be it cake or chili. Thank you for loving my kids. Thank you for just about everything, including the sweet sorting puzzle gift you gave Keegan.
Mom, thank you for always, always helping me when I need it. Thank you for having good ways to figure stuff out. Thank you for your empathy and your love, thank you for being Nana.
Russ, one day your going to tell me that the ideas are too big, too crazy, too impractical – but then maybe not. Maybe you’ll just keep being the best go-to guy I know. Thank you for not rolling your eyes when I tell you I want to cook for thirty people, and make the cake from scratch, and the invitations, and write the ceremony, all. by. myself. Thank you for getting that I just need to go big or go home. Thank you for our boys, thank you for being the best father I could ask for, and as always, thanks for being my partner on this road-trip we call life.
. . .
Corey, thanks for coming up, there was a time, you would have just called it a day, but you came up, helped us load out, and hung out for the rest of the night. Thanks for being where you were tonight. You’re right – it’s all happening for a reason.
Pops and Lynn, thanks for digging out the medals and pocket watches, and scary family pictures. Thanks for manning the grill, thanks for schlepping out stuff on carts. Thanks for the cute presents. Thanks for coming by afterwards, and hanging out with the kids. I’m glad they’re getting to know their grandparents.
Tamara and Cassidy, Thanks for being at Andreas last fourth of July, it’s been so fun to keep running into you, to hang out and get to know your family. Thanks for being kind of nerdy like us. Thanks for the Phish sticker – it adds a little bit of swagger to the box.
Noelle, and NJ, and Crystal, and Rachel, and Tamara (again), thanks for being baby mamas. Thanks for being another part of my tribe. Thanks for the kind thoughts, and kind words on Sunday. Thanks for just being there the last year. It means so so so much.
Weesie, thank you for the cute Mickey outfits. Thank coming out to all the events I send invites to. Thanks for telling such good stories. And thanks for always thinking after me.
. . .